Writing Solutions for the Tech-Challenged 

With the holidays fast approaching, I have chosen, in the spirit of good will, to not point out that the picture of me which the Mrs. posted was absolutely inaccurate. I was not at work when she took that picture, and it was taken totally out of context!

Rather, in the spirit of good will, I will point out that we have been working on a few new ideas of additional information to provide to you. The problem is, we have more ideas than time, and I must thoroughly investigate each one before I allow them to be posted on this site. In the meantime, I am fighting the chill. Went into the kitchen this morning for a quick breakfast, only to discover the windows completely frosted over. How am I supposed to make sure that the ducks are not trying to take over the front yard again, when I can't see out the windows. To add insult to injury, I recall hearing the Mrs. say that the kitchen was cold, and the next thing you know, all the doors in there are tightly shut - with me behind them!

Is this any way to treat a CEO? I had to give a most unprofessional Caterwaller, to get her attention and to let me out. Positively exhausting, and now, I can't remember what I was planning to add to the site today.

I tell you Mrs. if this site fails - it will not be your CEO's fault!

My poor cat body is so confused, I simply cannot think straight. Don't forget, I am a cat that was born and bred in Israel. In Israel we have no central heating - at least not where I lived. All well and good, I have my wonderful, glossy, silky, die to touch, coat of hair that should be the envy of every cat and human on earth.

Of course, I say this with all humility.

But then the Mrs. meets her man and just has to move to Michigan. Of all the States on earth, why Michigan? But, faithful master that I am, I decided to keep her as my pet and when with her and the Mr. to this dreadful state. Last winter was spent in shock... don't think I really recovered until I was given the responsibility of CEO for Solutions for the Tech Challanged.

But I ask you, how on earth am I supposed to be a good CEO when the central heating is so warm it's making my fur fall out, and with the cold air coming into the house via the windows, I am freezing all the time. And then, yesterday, this awful, wet, white stuff starts falling from the sky (Quatro escaped and returned to give me a full report on the stuff).... and it gets colder... So my poor paws feel like ice, and I have to curl up on every blanket I can find to try and get my thoughts moving.

Despite my pitiful condition and suffering, the cold makes me hungry, but will the Mrs. get more food out for me? O no, they are worried I'll become some kind of "fat cat" or something... so, as I was saying, despite my pitiful condition, and complete lack of opposable thumbs, I have succeeded to get some pretty good information up for you to read about PowerPoint presentations (not that I would ever give one).

I've watched the Mrs. preparing for her own presentations enough to be able to give you a tip or two. She could probably do better if she'd follow my advice as well! Just remember, I taught her everything she knows. And the number of times I've had to jump on the keyboard to remind her of this - well you don't want to know.

It is hard work being an effective CEO, but hopefully, your PowerPoint presentations will be more effective now that I've given you the information you need to succeed.

PURRR...

Thanksgiving was only two days ago and I am only now recovering.

We (Quatro and I) were investigating the kitchen annex to our office. Very curious smells were coming from that room. A mixture of everything from yuck-potatotes to fresh turkey. I sniffed some red stuff that jiggled a lot - everyone seemed to think it would be something special, but jiggly food? Come on. We got ready to get back to work, when the Mrs. put a plate in front of us. Curiouser and curiouser...

It was quite tasty... we went back to the main office to discuss some possible strategies for the future (I've appointed Quatro head of marketing and research)... and then to muse deeply before making any final decisions (heads tucked tightly under paws, of course!).

The next thing you know, it's the middle of the night, and everyone is shaking our office desk, saying its time for them to use it. Humans! Really, a desk is for thinking, not sleeping! But I have to let them have their way sometimes... but we discovered that they ate their entire turkey dinner without us.

I don't know what was in the raw meat they gave us, but I swear they drugged us to keep us out of the way while everyone was eating. I ask you, on Thanksgiving of all days - is this something a CEO deserves? One of my merit and intelligence? Unbelievable - either that, or they have found a way to hide the smell. All those left overs and did they even give me one bit? A small dish of DRY food - unbelieveable.

I am going to ponder my revenge carefully... have to cooredinate with Quatro, but I heard that a tree is coming soon... that should be ther purrrfect opportunity to strike, claw, and scratch back!

Unbelievable. How am I supposed to get any work done around here, and work on adding content, when the Mrs. goes and invites 5000 people for a Middle Eastern cooking night. OK, perhaps I am exagerting, I never did learn to count past one paw, but I tell you, there I am minding my own business and suddenly my office is swamped as people begin piling coats and handbags on MY favorite thinking spot (excuse the interruption, this from the Mrs. Guay is referring to the Mr's pillow...).

Excuse me? Whose blog is this anyway! Yeowww.... need I tell you that my nose is still twitching from all of those strange smells. Needless to say, I have not gotten any work done recovering from last night's chaos. Honestly, I don't know what gets into these humans.

CEOing is serious business. It has been difficult weeding out the smells from the thoughts, but I've finally decided that I will begin adding some information to the PowerPoint challenged section of this site. So stay tuned (but don't hold you breath if she keeps bringing people over during my work hours)...

I guess the cat naps are over. Spent the entire day helping the Mrs. gather information to improve her resume. All the stuff she does well for others, and you'd think she could write a decent resume for herself. However, I gave her a licking and she yielded to my wise (of course) advice and asked for help from some of her colleagues.

Well, her nap is over, she's been working all day on her resume. As for me? This was great for me. I was able to consult her sweaters, handbag, and coat for the best place to think about what to do next on our site. I do think we'll have to do some stuff on the basics of computing, or PowerPoint. But we shall see.

I've been pleased to not traffic is up - but not one comment! Hello out there. I know you are reading my blog. This cat wants to strike up a conversation! Send your comments... lets get  into some good catversations!

OK, let me make this clear, I am a CEO and a CAT - not a programmer. It is simply unrealistic for the Mrs. to think I can start making feedback forms and specialized code to hide our email from spammers... to add insult to injury, the dog got loose and attacked me right when I was in the middle of trying to figure out what to do with those funny squiggly brackets.

Then, the repairman starts banging, replacing the backdoor, and somebody came by selling water softener. I'm telling you, it is impossible for me to direct this company and give the guidance needed with all these interruptions. I am exerting my CEO privileges, have turned up the heat, and if the contact form does not get done, you can still contact us as follows:

dvora    at       tech-challenged    dot       com

For the tech-challenged out there:

the "at" = @

the "dot" =  .

and of course there are no blank spaces

And I am going to take a nap!

<translated graciously from the Catonese by the Mrs.)

Have finished the day with my head spinning. I swear I've lost weight. The misses insists on keeping the heat as low as bearable. How am I supposed to get any serious thinking done when I'm burning calories trying to keep warm beneath blankets?

Despite the chill, however, this CEO is proud to advise that new content has been added to the site. A free template that lots of people should find useful. The fun part, I've earned my salary. The Mrs. could not get on the Internet for a while today, and she was able to give someone our URL over the phone so that they could check out her resume and portfolio.

But we can't help you if you don't let us know what you need help with. So if there is something you need, one thing you could do is send us an email with your questions and comments.

I can then post your questions with my wise answers - and what I can't answer, I'm sure the Mrs. can!

Facts are facts - do NOT let a human do work that a cat can do better. Humans are simply compulsive about getting everything done just so, and making things look just right. Do they care about my blog? NOoooo, why not confuse the whole world and make them think that because I'm a cat, I nap a lot, that my blog has gone senile?

So what do the Mrs. and Mr. do? They get someone to help set up a new design, then the Mrs. spends TWO days (TWO MIND YOU) getting a few pages added and playing with content, and the next thing you know, SHE thinks its great.

But they got all of the entries on my blog completely mixed up. So let me fill you in with all the information now - if you are new to this site.

I am CEO Guay, and I am the force behind Solutions for the Tech Challenged. The motivation behind this site is to help others, and buy cat food (not necessarily in that order). The Mrs. has this bright idea: She thinks that if she offers a lot of her knowledge for free, maybe others will want to pay for more of that knowledge, and enable her to work from home.

Well, I hope it works out. When she works at home I have a much more comfortable place to think deeply about the direction this site is taking. Her desk is natural wood, and the heat from her laptop nicely supplements the central heating.

So, as CEO Guay, I'd like to welcome you to Solutions for the Tech Challenged. I really do hope that you will find the information you need here. Please leave comments or questions on my blog. We will try to help you as much as possible with your Microsoft Word or PowerPoint problems. If you are having trouble with your computer, we can also help with tips and tricks for maintenance or working on the web.

Well the heater just kicked on. I need to go and find a warm place to curl up and think up how to improve this site!

CEO is hard work.

It took all day to convince Hemstreet & Hemstreet (the Mr. and the Mrs.) to change the name of their business. They simply didn't get it... they love the title, but it just doesn't explain what we are about... We want to provide SOLUTIONS for the hopelessly technologically challenged... not sell hopeless technologies... though there are a lot of those out there. I had to play lion for a few minutes, jumping on the Mr. and thought about biting the Mrs... but she knew what was coming.

Still trying to find headsets for ducks. I believe their clear and audible quacks will be heard by the most deaf caller to our center, when we get it set up. In the meanwhile, please just respond to my blog if you need us to help with an urgent issue.

I take being a CEO very seriously, and look forward to getting our business up and running. Tried to eat a mouse today... then discovered it had a funny wire coming out of it. Spilled my water dish when I turned off the computer to go home... I thought that funny tray was meant to hold my water dish so that I wouldn't have to jump on the floor everytime I was thirsty... I have decided we will need to get an IT and a quality department started, and possibly some training. I tried typing myself, in Catonese of course, and off came a couple of keys. Had to call the Board of Directors in to help fix things up. I don't think they were too pleased, but hey, it takes a VOTE to get rid of me now... and my contract calls for stiff compensation if they don't give me a meowiing chance at it.

Phew... I NEED a long cat nap.

(Note to our readers - when this blog was started, we tried the name Hopeless Technologies, then we permutated to different names, until you see the final name we achieved - Tech-Challenged)